Hollywood Pressures and Personal Truths: Tommy Dorfman's Journey
Tommy Dorfman didn’t hold back in her recent chat on Rachel Bilson’s show Broad Ideas. For fans of Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why, Dorfman’s reveal might sting a bit—the familiar face behind Ryan Shaver says landing that breakout role meant putting her real self on hold. She was just 24 when the cameras started rolling, and according to her, that changed everything.
“I had to put a lot of stuff that I thought I was gonna work on or gonna do, personal development things, I had to compartmentalize and put them away,” Dorfman explained. In other words, the excitement of becoming a Netflix star came with a heavy price: putting her gender dysphoria on ice. Anything related to transitioning, she says, got shelved with a hard “Nope, that’s not for now.”
Most viewers wouldn’t think twice about what’s going on with actors behind the scenes. But for Dorfman, the career-defining gig forced her to sideline something bigger than fame. She admits, “If I hadn’t booked that job, I would have started transitioning a lot sooner.” That’s a big what-if, and it’s not something many actors talk about out loud.
Transition as Evolution, Not Reinvention
Dorfman, now 30, has carved out a new path in Hollywood as an advocate for trans people. But she made it extra clear—transitioning wasn’t about rewriting her story or leaving her past behind. She feels deeply attached to her name, which belonged to her late uncle. The part about her identity isn’t an act, even though acting is her job.
“It’s been more of an evolution,” she says, not a reinvention. Dorfman’s openness makes it all too real: the entertainment industry can demand that trans actors hit pause on their own stories, trading personal progress for role preparation, red carpets, and relentless publicity. It isn’t just about her; it’s about a whole system expecting people to fit a mold for public consumption.
The conversation on Bilson’s podcast nudged the broader issue to center stage. When your face is on billboards and your name is trending, the personal stuff doesn’t get the privacy it deserves. Navigating public attention as a trans person comes with double the scrutiny and way more invisible hurdles to jump.
Dorfman’s story isn’t unique—other trans actors have spoken about similar struggles. But her honesty about the direct link between Hollywood success and postponing her transition shines a light on why authentic visibility (and a little compassion) still matter so much in the business.
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